- No Fault Uncontested Divorce Forms
- Marital Settlement Agreement

Have you ever happened across the Jerry Springer Show (I know this group can’t actually be Tivoing it or anything…too high class a crowd) and noticed how people who are cheaters can’t seem to venture too far from home? I mean, the “other partner” always seems to be drawn from a very shallow pool of best friends, sisters, brothers, father-in-laws, etc. All the time.

If you are going to cheat, at least get far enough from the nest that you at might have a fighter’s chance at not getting caught. Right? And good grief, does anyone ever think about how awkward the family time at Thanksgiving is going to be when all of the dust clears?

For the record, no. Cheaters don’t think about any of this stuff. There is no thought process there. Just the occasional adrenaline rush.

Whatever.

Practically speaking, cheaters are by definition non-thinkers. Consideration of details like process and consequences generally cannot be bothered with at all, let alone managed effectively in these situations. So then, it’s not surprising that cheaters tend to get found out…and lose.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not discounting the concept of someone wanting out of a dismal relationship so badly that they may actually want to get caught cheating, just so the burden of ending the relationship is on the other person. I’m sure that enters into it often, actually.

Heavy stuff. Or should I say, pathetic stuff.

Obviously I ruminate upon this sort of thing a good bit. I should, after all it’s my job to. But still, the concept of cheating on a partner in a committed relationship always causes me to rehearse the line, “what goes around comes around” just one more time.

Why?

Well, it’s simple. We as human beings have a pattern. Whether we like it or not, we tend to be painfully predictable. At the very fiber of our being, what makes up our moral core is going to dominate…every time.

So it follows logically that if you choose to cheat, you are going to live the life of a cheater.

Somebody reading this just said, “Duh.”

I couldn’t agree more. “Duh.” So what is up with all the cheating? There are clear consequences to living that lifestyle, and they basically involve getting what you deserve…infidelity. Essentially, if you build a relationship upon the premise of cheating, how can you possibly expect anything in the future but…more cheating? It has been said that after the first time cheating happens, it is forever easier thereafter to repeat the offense. I think there is decidedly some truth to that concept. Once conscience is breached, the proverbial Pandora’s Box is opened.

Suppose for a brief second that you are feeling bored, sick, unattracted and/or flaky toward you committed partner. You have an affair with someone who “floats your boat” more buoyantly. Yeah, well, both you and your new, apparently exciting friend are CHEATERS. And should you choose to leave your committed partner for your new friend, you will both still be CHEATERS.

The takeaway here is that both YOU and your PARTNER will have built whatever you build together upon CHEATING.

Did you get that? And guess what? You’ll do it again.

Like it or not, cheaters indeed keep cheating. Yours will be a relationship built upon dishonesty and lack of integrity. How do you expect such a union to last? Rest assured it will not.

Meanwhile, your spurned ex will be out deserving what he or she wants. A faithful partner is a good catch.

Will you be left wallowing in the error of your ways? Not if you deserve what you want today…and stay true to the partner you say you love. If there are issues, work them out. If you need to get out more together, make it happen. And if you need to break up an exclusive relationship, do so before heading on to “greener pastures”. The proper thing to do is break off one committed relationship before starting another. This is the only way around the cheating issue. And yes…if you are “separated”…consider thoroughly the importance of waiting until the divorce is final before dating other people. You are still married until that happens, and dating under these circumstances generally raises subtle doubts in the mind of those you go out with.

But for Heaven’s sake…whatever you do, don’t sleep with your brother-in-law just to make a point, okay? It’s not going to lead to happiness.

Want to hear more? Scot McKay is a personal dating coach in San Antonio, TX and founder of X & Y Communications, a one-stop-shop for dating resources. He is the author of the new book “Deserve What You Want”, and hosts the popular podcast series “X & Y On The Fly”. He may be reached at scot@xandycommunications.net or on the Web at http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/

How To Meet Women: Dating After Divorce.

- No Fault Uncontested Divorce Forms
- Marital Settlement Agreement

It is a sad fact that of all Americans who have been married, one out of three has also experienced at least one divorce. With the vast majority of people in America being married one or more times, it is common knowledge that every couple goes through a few rocky patches. Many marital problems can be solved with open communication and a solid commitment to one another. For more serious issues, some couples turn to marital counseling and may find renewed strength at the end of that journey.

Unfortunately, some problems escalate into insurmountable barriers to a successful marriage. Generally these seemingly unsolvable issues stem from one or both partners refusing to address their problems while they are still manageable. Someone’s feelings get hurt, resentment festers, and eventually one spouse detaches emotionally from the other. The further into this cycle a couple is, the more likely they will find themselves in divorce court.

The downhill slide that ends in separation usually begins with communication problems. It may start with keeping secrets, and soon one or both spouses avoid talking to each other about marital problems or possibly even life in general. A failure to communicate with each other indicates a lack of trust, which is the foundation of marriage.

Shortly following a breakdown in communication, a partner may begin to employ personal defense mechanisms that will continue to weaken the marital bond. Stonewalling tactics, being overly defensive, or dismissing the other spouse’s feelings makes healthy conflict resolution impossible. Avoiding conflict or engaging in negative defense mechanisms serves only to poison a marriage.

On the other hand, a spouse may make multiple efforts to address marital problems only to be shut out by the other who is utilizing unhealthy defenses. Eventually the spouse making an effort to correct issues in the marriage will tire of being ignored and may even begin to distance his or herself from the other partner. At this point, it is highly likely that one or both spouses may give up entirely and lose any interest in saving the marriage.

Is there a “point of no return” when a marriage is doomed? Certainly there is. However, that point is different for each couple. The key to saving a marriage is willingness to save it. If one or both spouses have given up on their partnership, there is not much hope. For couples who have not given up, the road to marital recovery requires honesty, communication, patience, forgiveness and commitment. It is a long and bumpy road, but then so is the road to divorce.

If you’re trying to find top divorce lawyers in Austin TX go to Trusler Menduni PLLC. If you’re interested in learning more about other approaches to divorce, you should get a copy of the Collaborative Divorce Audio CD to learn more about this innovative approach.

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