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Marriage is the oldest institution on the planet. The Bible, in Genesis, tells of how God created Adam and Eve, and married them. However, almost as quickly, the rise of divorce came about. By the time of Moses, the practice was commonplace, and in the book of Numbers he lays down the laws for dealing with the annulment of a marriage.

It is to be the exception, rather than the rule. In Asian cultures, we are given to understand, it was a bit more commonplace. Nowadays, it is even more so. The history of this subject through out the ages is a fascinating one. Let us turn to it now.

Besides the Biblical account and some fragmentary evidence from other cultures, there is not much on the practice in the western world until the rise of the Greek and Roman civilizations around 1000 BC. In the eastern world, due to the low status given the institution of marriage, with many husbands taking several lives, it was regarded to be quite common. In Muslim countries, divorce is lawful, but is the most hated of all lawful things in the sight of Allah.

By the time of Greek society, however, marriage was regulated and accepted. In ancient Athens, all you had to do was to submit a request to a magistrate, who would judge whether the request was lawful and would then either accept or deny the request. In early Roman culture, it was disapproved of, but later, as Rome became more decadent, it adopted the maxim that, marriages ought to be free. Theoretically, either the husband or the wife could divorce at will, although in practice the exercise of this right was infrequent.

When the Christian religion became dominant, marriage became more permanent. Very few people sought to end their marriages during the middle ages, although some, such as the notorious Henry VIII, defied the morality of the day. During the course of his reign, he took a total of six women as his wife, beheading two of them.

In Victorian times, it was still prejudiced against, but, again, still practiced on occasion. It was more frequent for an informal divorce to occur where, though still technically married, the husband and wife would be separated. This was quite commonplace throughout the 18th and 19th centuries, although towards the end of the 19th century attitudes began to swing back the other way.

Today, the separation of a husband and wife is common, and the legal process of ending a marriage is even more so. In the United States, 40% of marriages do not last until the death of one of the parties. This is a far cry from the standards of earlier times.

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There is yet another category of foreclosure that reigns commonly in Austin, TX. Houses going into foreclosure or auctioned for sale are due to Divorce settlements.

Partners dissolving their marital relationship may find it quite difficult to straighten out their financial disputes. The spouse who has the slightest clue of separation or is not willing to divorce is least prepared for the results and effects of the divorce. While the partner who initiates the proceedings has the privilege of planning settlement terms ahead of time, the other spouse who is either demoralized, monetarily broken or is of a lower earning caliber, finds it quite hard to settle financial disputes over divorce.

If you are reading this, chances are that you might be navigating against a similar storm of complications. For the benefit of my Austin homeowners, I’ve always emphasized on the value of monitoring your score. A damaged or poor credit score can be a serious result of foreclosure. Also poor credit rating can also reduce your possibilities of obtaining other rescue loans. If you are going through a divorce settlement and wanting to stop a foreclosure, your foremost duty now is to know your credit rating. Review and analyze your credit report online.

If your divorce settlement involves your children, the court will create child support orders that lay conditions on payment, custody and protection, which falls in the best interest of the child. The court orders will control the complete rules of your kid’s health insurance, child support payments and visiting schedules. Usually the order equally delegates child support payment and guardianship rights between the divorce partners. Sometimes the parent who has the complete custody of the child can’t afford to make the mortgage payments. The court will often times order the non-primary spouse to contribute more to keep the children in the family home. Delinquent spouses usually will have to make up back house payments.

Petitioners in the Austin, TX Travis County region may find their divorce petition disputes being settled over a period of up to one year. Given the longevity of the case, the Judge may issue an emergency order that compels either one or both partners to fulfill their obligations towards mortgage payments. In addition the judge may order the defaulted house payments be paid by the spouse who initiated divorce.

If a divorce has handicapped your financial credibility and you want to stop your foreclosure, you can proceed to legally petition monetary support from your spouse.

* Negotiate with your spouse on making the mortgage current. If he or she is unwilling to abide, softly notify him/her about your plans to hire an attorney who could legally arbitrate the situation.

* Hire a lawyer and educate him/her on every detail about the current status and equity rights over the mortgage. Provide all documents, contracts copies and mail communications that can support your petition and advocate your rights over securing the mortgage.

* If your income does not allow you to hire an attorney, take leverage of your state law that could have provision for your delinquent spouse to cover up all legal charges, including your attorney’s fees.

* If the court sets an order for your divorcing spouse to pay off the mortgage loan, request the judge to permit you to contribute payments for those months your spouse has defaulted. It is better to request temporarily restriction against the lender from initiating foreclosure, than to lose the house on auction sale.

If in case your ex-spouse fails to make the mortgage current, the lender should be aware of the alternatives recommended by the court. Bear in mind, to constantly update your lender about all legal proceedings being negotiated with your ex-spouse on mortgage settlements. Send photocopies of all court orders to the lender for documentation against your mortgaged house.

Dwayne Clark is a Chairman of The Troubled Homeowner Organization. Dwayne helps homeowners in the Austin,Texas area overcome difficult situations that may arise during home ownership. Dwayne and The Troubled Homeowner Organization believes in the sharing of knowledge and information to help others succeed. On our website TroubledHomeowner.com, you will be able to find several articles, do it yourself guides and videos that will arm homeowners with knowledge and power to change their situation. Don’t hesitate to contact us. Our organization will do its best to help you solve your Real Estate Problems.

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The internet certainly has provided our society with wonderful conveniences that we use every day. Simply by typing a website address, you can shop for new clothes at two o’clock in the morning, get directions to the best Chinese restaurant in town, reconnect with friends you haven’t seen in twenty years, and complete research for a school project. However, there is also a dangerous downside to this piece of modern technology. The internet has allowed for an unprecedented level of anonymity in supposedly intimate relationships. You never really know who is sitting in front of another computer screen carrying on a conversation with you. To adults who are looking for escape from an unhappy marriage, the thrill of a stranger can seem much more appealing than the person with whom they shared vows. All too often, initial cyberspace conversations quickly evolve into online sexual encounters and perhaps more. Let’s be clear. Online affairs do constitute cheating on your spouse. The betrayal and the destroyed lives could not be more real.

One of the most significant problems facing a married couple for whom internet relationships have become a point of contention is the fact that men and women are not in agreement over what constitutes inappropriate behavior on the internet. Only 46% of men believe that online affairs should be considered adultery. Instead, the majority assert that anything taking place on the computer is only harmless flirtation. After all, there is no physical touching, right? However, statistics shows that nearly one quarter of couples who begin by flirting online eventually will meet for an in-person encounter. Over time, the satisfaction that comes from communication on the computer simply is not enough.

Even if physical contact is never made between two people who are having an online affair, the potential damage to a marriage is still quite significant. The partner who is carrying on romantic correspondence over the internet will have less time to devote to his family. Communication and intimacy with the spouse become less important because those needs are largely being met by the stranger on the computer screen. The participant may begin to imagine a better life with his online lover and make plans to run away for a fresh start. Or, maybe the cyber-romance is taking place with a former boyfriend or girlfriend with whom you have reconnected on a social networking site like Facebook or MySpace. If you are experiencing some difficulties in your marriage, it becomes easier to look back on a former relationship with rose-colored glasses. When you are able to fantasize that this person is whoever you need her to be, you idealize a situation that is likely to fail when placed into reality.

Unfortunately, the proliferation of online affairs has made them a factor in an increasing number of divorce cases. Divorce attorneys now report that online romances contribute to one-third of divorce litigation! This is a startling statistic that should serve as a wake-up call for anyone who thinks that the internet offers a safe way to flirt and that surely your spouse will understand. In fact, the relatively new practice of internet investigative services has exploded in popularity in recent years. Suspicious spouses now can hire a professional to track possible online infidelity through the use of email addresses or other information. When gathering this type of evidence, husbands and wives must be very careful. John Mayoue, a divorce attorney from Atlanta, shares that, “A spouse does have a right to privacy even from his or her own spouse. It’s the most compelling evidence you’ll have in a divorce case, but also the most fraught with potential liability.” Unauthorized use of a private email address is illegal and may leave any gathered evidence inadmissible, not to mention make you guilty of committing a serious crime.

If you suspect that your spouse may be engaging in an online affair, you should consider a phone call to an attorney as one of your first actions. You will need legal advice if you decide to pursue an investigation into your spouse’s activities, and certainly will want representation should the situation ultimately lead to a divorce. There are conflicting opinions as to whether or not online affairs can be considered adultery when determining grounds for divorce in Texas , so an experienced family law attorney will be able to tell you the best approach for filing for a divorce in this situation. He or she also will guide you through every step of the sensitive process and produce a result that leaves you and any children in as good of a position as possible.

Tony R. Bertolino is the managing partner at Bertolino LLP with law offices located in Austin, Houston and San Antonio, Texas. A member of the Trial and Appellate Litigation Team, Mr. Bertolino’s practice is devoted largely to complex transactions, commercial litigation, business law, entertainment law and family law matters. You can read more about Mr. Bertolino at http://www.belolaw.com.

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Divorce Mediation

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People become psychologically compromised if going through a rough emotional period or if they are facing overwhelming problems with work, personal finances, or relationship struggles. In these scenarios, it is possible that a person may not turn to his or her spouse for strength, but instead, put their faith in a substance or action. Drug addiction is a serious concern not only for the health of an individual, but for the life of a marriage.

There are a large number of drugs, each of which has a specific effect on the human body that people may be drawn to. A person may want to take amphetamines to stay awake for a job or may take LSD to feel new sensations and explore strange experiences. In either case, problems can develop in which that person becomes so attached to the drug that any other relationships in their life are destroyed. With marijuana use becoming common among Americans, illegal drug use has grown into a series concern for even the average American household.

In the case of highly addictive drugs such as cocaine and heroin, the abuser may become physical dependent very quickly, causing them to undergo drastic pains if they do not continue to abuse these drugs. These drugs are particularly devastating to relationships, as addicts can ruin financial plans and long-term savings goals.

In addition to these troubles, addicts are destroying their own bodies, making it difficult for that person to even survive, let alone contribute to a marriage or family. To learn more about how a spouse can cut off a partner who has abandoned a relationship, contact a divorce attorney.

If you are considering divorce, discuss your options with a legal advocate first. Contact the Austin divorce attorneys of Slater Kennon & Jameson, LLP today.

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1. Marriage counseling – Try marriage counseling again. Spouses had a reason for walking down the aisle together. Give marriage counseling one last chance before starting down the path to divorce.

2. Talk to an attorney first – It is very important that you talk to a divorce attorney before doing anything else. Your divorce lawyer will help you to assess the divorce and should thoroughly educate you in the area of Divorce law. It is important to have this knowledge before moving on with your case because divorce cases can often involve complex property issues, children, child support, etc.

3. Talk to your spouse – Obviously, once you have an idea of what is going to happen in your divorce, you are better able to talk with your spouse and try to work things out. We can only equate someone talking with their spouse about a divorce without knowing what the laws are and without knowing what generally will happen in their case to someone buying a car who has absolutely no idea what the car is really worth. In either case, you are in no position to negotiate a deal.

4. Hire a divorce attorney you are comfortable with – It is extremely important that you hire an attorney with whom you are comfortable. Ask your divorce attorney about fees – not only how much he/she charges per hour but how much, generally, you should expect to spend with the attorney. Can you contact the attorney after hours? Will the divorce attorney pledge to return your calls the same day? Does the attorney give out his home number and/or mobile number? The first attorney you contact should not be offended if you contact a second or third attorney in order to investigate that “comfort level”. Look around to the extent you deem it necessary.

5. Explore Mediation with your Attorney – Mediation is a process whereby parties use a neutral person to try to reach an agreement. It has a very high success rate and allows spouses to dictate their own agreement without having a Judge reach an agreement with which neither party may be satisfied. Discuss mediation with your San Antonio mediation attorney.

6. Involve a CPA – Tax consequences of your divorce can be devastating or beneficial. Ask your lawyer if they can recommend a CPA or contact a CPA of your choice to ask about the tax consequences of any property division. (This can save you a tremendous amount of money!)

7. Children? Help them cope with Divorce – Take the course “Helping Children Cope with Divorce”. This course is required in Bexar County prior to the granting of a divorce and is available around San Antonio and Texas. It helps parents understand how little comments or actions on their part can have a devastating effect on their children. It has a very high approval rating from parents taking it and I would strongly urge that you consider it. (It takes a total of about 4 hours and is inexpensive.)

8. Insist that your attorney pre-approve your “QDRO” – A QDRO (a Qualified Domestic Relations Order) is required to divide retirement. By insisting that your San Antonio divorce attorney submit the QDRO to the retirement plan administrator prior to the entry of the decree, you are potentially assuring that the QDRO will not have to be revised after the divorce is over.

9. Obtain a Deed of Trust – If needed, be sure to obtain a “Deed of Trust”! This simple document gives you a right to foreclose on the real estate should your spouse fail to continue making payments, avoiding costly litigation.

10. Be smart – be rational – Going through a divorce is kind of like going through a temporary state of insanity. It is only a matter of degree.

Amy Geistweidt is a divorce attorney at the family law firm of Higdon, Hardy, and Zuflacht in San Antonio, TX. Visit http://www.hhzlaw.com for more information about divorce and family law.

San Antonio Texas (TX) Therapists, Psychologists, Counseling, Custody Evaluations ~ Alison Frey, LPC